Could junkyards become the next paradise-- the next chic place to be, the next yuppie yearning, urban sheik way to live? I know it might seem a little strange but just imagine if all your neighbors were wrecked Chryslers, worn out Nissans and rusted out Chevrolets.
Getting a good night's sleep would be easy because junk cars never party all night.
Getting along with your neighbors would be easy because no one would arrest you if you put them in the crusher.
Their children wouldn't trample through your flower beds.
The only dogs would be your own junkyard dogs.
No one would complain about the noise when you throw your own wild parties.
No one could complain about your keeping junk cars in your yard because your yard would be zoned for junk cars.
The occasional unwanted visitor would be sorely surprised to learn that your dog is a real junkyard dog.
You'd never need to buy gasoline because you could go to work without leaving home and you could go home without leaving work.
Neighbors wouldn't complain if you bought goats instead of a lawn mower.
You could heat your little house on the junkyard for free by burning the waste gasoline and automotive oils from your junk cars in your own EPA compliant waste oil furnace.
And finally, you'd never be late for work because you're always on the job.
